I need to ‘fess up and admit, red-faced, that this camino story has turned into a very long, drawn-out tale. I never intended it to be like this so apologies for all of you who’ve been waiting all this time for the end. It will come, just like the real end of camino did, and I promise I am getting there.
In many ways, I am still catching up on all the ways in which it changed me. Is that an excuse for taking a ridiculously long amount of time to recount my experience? Yes, it is. And it’s also the truth. To tell the story too quickly kind of implies that walking the 500 miles was something I just did one year, casual as could be, with no thought about it afterwards. That wasn’t my experience of walking across Spain. While I am sorry I’ve been so slow with the writing, I know camino wasn’t a flash-in-the-pan experience for me. Somehow, the slow recounting is part of that.
I’ve had a busy summer and got locked out of my wordpress account more times than I could count, so I lost some of my motivation to write. But, I’ve got that back-to-school energy at the moment and I am full of industrious ideas and plans. I’m also reminded of my camino journey, which started around this time of the year. The seasonal change reminds me of it all — packing my bag, getting on the plane to Biarritz, and later, the hours and hours of being outside every day. I look back on it with rose-tinted glasses, I know.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on how my camino experience has steeled me for life. In the time since I finished walking, there’s been plenty of illness and bereavement, sorrow and loss, overwhelm and depletion. There’s also been tremendous joy, new beginnings, new unions and life, and great connection. Every day, I am so busy trying to do my best with the day, I often forget to zoom out a bit and look at the big picture. I often forget to take stock of all that is going on in my life and how much of it is working well.
There were days on camino when everything seemed to slot together and my entire being hummed with contentment, like one very happy tuning-fork. There were also days when I was so overwhelmed with gloom that the best I could do was draw a line under the day and hope the next one would be better. My everyday life is like this too: some days are full of choral harmonies and other days are a groan from beginning to end.
So, how does the camino help?
Because it taught me this: just keep going. No one walks to Santiago in one clean hop. No matter what way you look at it, 500 miles is a long way to go by foot, irrespective of your circumstances in life. Some people walking have loads of money and others have only some of their limbs. This is life.
So don’t shy away from the challenge of it, whatever “it” is in your life right now. Don’t let fear swallow up all of your best ideas and heartfelt aspirations. Don’t let uncertainty turn into inertia. Just keep going. One foot at a time, one day at a time, one café con leche at a time. Amazingly, the effort all adds up. It doesn’t always seem like it but it does amount to something, it does create something in its own right.
Camino…life…writing a blog about camino and life….it’s all one day at a time. One post at a time, one strong mug of coffee at a time. And isn’t it great to be able to do it? Really, every day I am alive, I still have a crack at living well and making things a bit better. I still have choice.
So, camino made me strong, keeps me strong, and gives me good perspective on how to keep going. I said it before but it re-wired me from the inside and changed everything since.
Thanks for reading, for waiting, and for giving a damn. I’m excited to be back and look forward to more in the weeks ahead.
Buen Camino to you.